Posted by
Greg England on Friday, June 08, 2007 6:34:35 PM
Yesterday I stumbled quite by accident on the following website:
http://www.whydoesgodhateamputees.com/
This website is looking for Christian volunteers to mock, so I thought I’d take a look, and maybe ask a few tricky questions of my own:
- What are the laws of physics made of?
- If Susan Blackmore doesn’t exist, who gets the royalties from her books?
- How many amputees do you actually know, or care about?
Unfortunately, there are the “Rules of Engagement”. These prohibit you from name calling, insults and sarcasm. Restrictions on name calling and insults I can understand. But restrictions on sarcasm?
How can you communicate with liberals without sarcasm?
For example, what are you supposed to say when liberals mock you for believing in “magic man in the sky” and then go on to tell you that the End of the World is Nigh.
- Let there be low energy light bulbs?
You see, I’ve been very patient with liberals to date, really I have. I’ve given that sickly Christian smile when I’ve been told for the umpteenth that religion is a mental illness (as opposed to atheism which is a psychiatric disorder). But all that is over now that Ann Coulter has shown me the way. Hallelujah!
No more cheek turning for me for now is the time to “Beat your ploughshares into swords, and your pruning hooks into spears: let the weak say, I am strong”. [Joel 3:10].
I’m just kidding of course. Next time you step on my feet you know that I will be the one that apologises to you! The meek really ought to invest in steel toe caps; otherwise there will be a lot of people with sore feet inheriting the earth.
So go on, fit your low energy lightbulbs, put on your wooly hat and hurl that trashcan through that shop window. Burn those cars, why don’t you? Spend your waking hours weighing up whether it is better to buy fair trade to help the poor farmers in the developing world, or buy local produce to reduce the food miles.
Because let’s be honest. If you truly gave a damn about the developing world you would stop making so many lame excuses for the terrorists.
And in the long run that might mean fewer amputees …